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Trying to Get Pregnant at 40


“I want to have a baby,” Emma said. “Hope I haven’t shocked you. Is it shocking that carefree, fun-loving, happy-go-lucky Emma wants a child?”

“No, no,” Angelica lied politely. Emma’s dream clashed with how she saw Emma. Neither Angelica nor anyone else she knew talked about having children. Tom was the only person she knew in her daily life who had a family.

“I’ve always wanted to have a child. Two years ago, Rennie and I decided to have one. We’ve known each other ten years and been going out with each other off and on, mostly on, all that time. Neither one of us wants to get married, but I do want a child and Rennie is backing me up on this. I think he’ll be a wonderful father teaching our child science, and I’ll teach it literature.

“So, we’ve been trying to get pregnant for two years. We can’t afford fertility doctors. You know our health insurance from work covers strictly life and death illnesses. We’ve read every book available on fertility. We’ve read about sperm motility and testicle temperature – Rennie’s wearing boxer shorts now – the effect of alcohol on prolactin – I’ve stopped drinking. I’ve also cut way back on cigarettes. I used to smoke a pack a day. Now I smoke no more than two cigarettes a day.

“We both keep tabs on when I ovulate. We’ve done everything but draw a road map for Rennie’s sperm to my egg, a Thomas Guide to my egg.

“It gets depressing, especially when I get my period. I’m not depressed now. I couldn’t talk about it if I were. I’d be sputtering all over the place. I believe that we will get pregnant. It’s just a matter of time, which I still think I have though every book I pick up says I might as well hang it up if I’m past thirty-five and been trying this long. What I wouldn’t give for a purple cervix!

“I never thought getting pregnant would be such a trial. Once I stopped using my diaphragm, I thought everything would take care of itself and maybe take six months, maybe a year. Boy, was I wrong!

“Almost everyday, I visit a chat room for older woman trying to get pregnant. Some of us have become so close that we have started to ovulate at the same time. I’m hearing success stories. It’ll happen for me, too."


From my novel, TURN ON, TUNE OUT, available at Amazon:

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